Top 10: Worst Hit Songs of 2012 (in my opinion)

Well, another year, another pile of pop schlock to shovel through. Last week I kept hyping up 2012 as the year that pop music changes for the better since there have been a lot of successful crossover indie hits, but I realize that change doesn’t occur overnight and like every year we still had a healthy dose of crap to put up with. This may have been the year of Gotye, Adele and fun., but this was also the year of David Guetta, Flo Rida and Rihanna, so it’s kind of a double-edged sword. Now every year has an equal helping of both good and bad music, and while the few good ones to come out this year were really good, they just made the bad ones look all that much worse. Just like how I got a good diversity from my best list, my worst picks of the year have a wide variety of flavors, from the annoyingly stupid, to the poorly written, to the skin crawlingly disgusting. Just like my last list, there are two criteria: they all have to come from Billboard’s year end list (with one exception), and no repeats from last year’s list. With that out of the way, grab your boots and shovels ladies and gentlemen; we’re digging through the Top 10 Worst Hit Songs of 2012 (in my opinion). Continue reading

Top 10: Best Hit Songs of 2012 (in my opinion)

2012 was certainly an interesting year for pop music. This was the year that two indie acts came completely out of nowhere and wrestled each other for the #1 spot, a sprightly little Canadian teen princess (who’s actually 27) gave us a sugary teenybopper tune that somehow reached Thriller levels of acclaim and adoration, and billions of people around the world became entranced by a chubby Korean guy with his crazy ass video and his silly little horsey dance. While pop is still largely the domain of Rihanna, Katy Perry and the like, it looks like the changes I hinted at in 2011 are finally taking effect. Club songs are becoming less ubiquitous, indie rock is rising in popularity, and some of the more prominent teen heartthrobs have been surprisingly easy to avoid (at least for me anyway). All in all, I’d say it was a solid year for pop music. That’s why I’ve decided to do yet another Top 10 year end list of the best and worst songs of the year. Now I realize that some of you will probably hate a majority of the songs on here mainly because of overexposure, but keep in mind that this list was written by a guy whose done a fairly decent job of avoiding Top 40 radio stations this year, due in large part to no longer working at a place that blasts it 24/7. I didn’t even know half of these songs existed until I started my research. With one very special exception, there are only two criteria for this list: they have to come from Billboard’s year end list and no repeats from last year (because I really don’t feel like bitching about “Sexy And I Know It” twice). These are the Top 10 Best Hit Songs of 2012 (in my opinion).

 10.  “Dance (A$$)” by Big Sean feat. Nicki Minaj

Those of you who aren’t either foaming at the mouth or calling the Pentagon to demand that nuclear missiles be fired at my house are probably wondering why I’m putting such a notoriously bad song on what’s supposed to be a “best of” list. Let me stress this here and now. This is an awful, awful, awful song, possibly one of the worst ever made by mainstream artists. It’s obnoxious, repetitive, void of any talent or effort, and it’s an astronomical, incomprehensible, festering heap of stupid. But if you ask me, that’s what makes it so interesting. I wouldn’t be surprised if it was revealed that this song was either an elaborate prank or made on a bet to see if Big Sean could make the stupidest song of all time. For whatever reason, everything about this song that would otherwise force me to change the station within seconds draws me in. Much like “Friday”, “A$$” is one of those songs that’s fascinating in how stupid it is. Every time I hear it, I find a new lyric to make fun of or a new detail in the production that makes me wonder what the fuck the producers were thinking. I listen to it for the same reason moviegoers enjoy hilariously bad films like The Room and Birdemic. If people can put so much time and energy into ridiculing Justin Bieber and Rebecca Black for making trite pop trash, then why not this shiny turd of a tune? I implore you. Check it out if you already haven’t. Send it to your friends. See what little tidbits of wrongness you can find within its context. And if you’re still not convinced I made a good point and think I’ve killed what little integrity I had in the crib, turn back now because you’re probably not going to like the rest of this list. Case in point…

9. “Gangnam Style” by PSY

This year, Billboard changed their credentials so that digital sales are now a factor for chart positionng. Considering that most people just buy songs off of iTunes nowadays I can see why they’d make this decision, but I could also see this having a bad backlash. (If they did this last year, “Friday” would’ve been a Top 10 hit. Just roll that around in your head for a second.) The viral sensation of 2012 was “Gangnam Style” an infectious Korean import that I can only describe as our generation’s “Macarena”. It was sung in a foreign language, it featured a maddeningly catchy hook, an accompanying dance, and an iconic video that in no time at all dethroned Justin Bieber’s “Baby” as the most viewed video on YouTube, and as of writing this has just become the first ever to reach a billion views. Some say that it’s just another obnoxious, disposable dance jam that’s no better than anything that Pitbull or LMFAO have ever farted out. Some say that it’s a clever commentary on South Korea’s huge problem with frivolous spending and outstanding credit card, but us dumb Amurricans don’t see it because A. it’s in a foreign language and B. the bizarre and extremely memetic video distracts from it even if it were sung in English. Personally, I can’t get mad at it. Sure, I don’t think it’s anywhere as deep as some try to convince me it is, but I don’t think it’s as shallow and dumb as others think it is either. Either way, it’s just a fun song. And if you can’t enjoy fun song every once in a while, then what good are you?

8. “Glad You Came” by The Wanted

Yes, I’m putting a song by a boy band on here. No, I’m not sorry. The funny thing about these pop stars that have become the target of ridicule on the internet (Justin Bieber, One Direction etc.) is that unless you have a little sister or cousin who’s a fan of them, they’re really easy to avoid. Seriously, ask anyone who leaves a lame Justin Bieber joke on YouTube’s comment section to name one of his songs and watch their words die in their throat. Seriously, leave the kid alone. He never did anything to hurt you there are hundreds of worse musicians than him. Now where was I? Oh yes, The Wanted. One Direction has recently become the new mark that the internet has declared open season on, mainly because both they and The Wanted seem to be symbolizing the return of the boy band trend of the late 90’s. While I’m inclined to agree that One Direction isn’t very good (although, like Bieber, they’re nowhere near the worst thing to happen to music), I don’t really have any problem with The Wanted, and I really enjoy this song. Think of it this way. One Direction are boys, and their aim is still by and large strictly of a high school variety. The Wanted are a bit more mature and aren’t interested in your kid games. Throw in an awesome accordion-esque beat and that’ll swing things in my favor. I guess it’s just an age thing. Okay, enough embarrassing myself, time to get to the genuine article.

7. “Too Close” by Alex Clare

One of my biggest changes this year as an audiophile is my introduction to the world of electronica and dance music. Whether it be trance, house, or even dubstep, I’ve become quite infatuated with EDM even if I’m still on the basics (Aviici, deadmau5, Skrillex). I’ve also seen a lot of artists try to merge these types of music with varying results. In the case of Alex Clare, he seems to be merging old-school R&B with dubstep. While this isn’t necessarily the best bass drop I’ve heard, it still compliments Alex Clare’s soulful vocals. There’s a right way and a wrong way to use dubstep breakdowns (we’ll get to the wrong ways on my next list), and here Mr. Clare nails it on the head. But even if you strip away the wubs it’s still a solid song as proven by acoustic performances. Like I said, his voice has a lot of soul, it’s got good lyrics and it’s pretty well structured. What more could you want?

6. “Home” by Phillip Phillips

The indie rock dam has had a crack in it that’s been growing over the past few years, but this seems to be the year it finally burst. Not only was this the year that fun. and Gotye dominated the charts, but other indie acts like Mumford & Sons, The Lumineers, Of Monsters and Men and Imagine Dragons all snagged major and minor hits as well. For a while I thought this Phillip Phillips guy was part of that wave, but imagine my amazement when I found out he’s actually this year’s American Idol winner. Now some of you hipsters out there are probably dismissing him as a soulless cash-in on the latest trends by the American Idol factory, but I think his winning is a symbol that this genre is finally getting the recognition it deserves, which last I checked is a good thing. The people could’ve very easily voted for just another pretty face, but instead they voted for a guy whose primary influences were Damien Rice, Mumford & Sons and Tool. I’m not saying that this is a sign of indie becoming the new grunge (although I really hope it does), but between  this and Arcade Fire beating Lady Gaga and Eminem at the Grammys two years ago, I think it’s safe to say it’s working itself into the mainstream if its influence is this far reaching.

5. “Lights” by Ellie Goulding

Ellie Gould suffers from what I like to call “Bob Dylan Syndrome”. Basically what this means is that I think she’s a talented musician and a great songwriter, and I’m able to enjoy her work despite the fact that I don’t really like her voice. I don’t think she’s a terrible singer, but it comes across as too thin and raspy for my taste, almost like she’s singing with a cold or something. But bad singer doesn’t necessarily mean bad music. After all, David Byrne said that the worse your voice sounds, the more passionate you come off as. I’ve known about Ellie Goulding for a while had this song on my iPod well before it became such a huge smash. Like my #3 pick, this isn’t the best song I’ve heard by her but rather a good representative of her sound as a whole. The production is solid, it has some great synths, and while the lyrics are alright even though they took me a while to decipher.

4. “So Good” by B.o.B.

This is one of those song I didn’t discover this one until I started research for this list. I always thought the presence of nice guy rapper B.o.B. was good thing, mainly because we need a rapper that raps about something other than sex, clubs, cars and bragging about how awesome they are and how much money they have. Sure, B.o.B. has songs like that too, but they’re not what become singles. Instead we get some really sincere albeit corny love jams. And I don’t mean “Ignition”, I mean more like “You seem like a nice girl and I want to take you on a date at a museum or something.” At least that’s what the theme for this song is since it’s filled with nothing but jokes about Europe and Renaissance art. And I’m not entirely sure here, but I think the beat samples “Two Weeks” by Grizzly Bear. If that is the case, we can chalk up another for clever indie samples.

3. “Some Nights” by fun.

Originally I was going to lump both this and “We Are Young” together since I don’t really have that much to say differently about one, but after listening to both a few more times (as well as the rest of the album), I have to give the edge to “Some Nights”. “We Are Young” is a fine song, but doesn’t really seem to have much of a focus or represent their sound as a whole. In all honesty it sounds like two songs that were split down the middle and sewn together. “Some Nights”, on the other hand, is all you need to hear from fun. to know what they’re all about. Initially I found this song to sound like Queen doing covers of songs from The Lion King soundtrack, and while Nate Ruess is no Freddie Mercury, fun. shares Queen’s knack for the operatic and theatrical. Where “We Are Young” starts off at an interesting place but loses steam after a bit. “Some Nights” is a kinetic force that never loses its energy, with its pounding drums and chugging guitar backing up Nate’s vocals, it brings out its bombast and grandiose in interesting ways. If I had one problem with this song, it would have to be that auto-tuned vocal solo that comes out of nowhere that was distracting at first, but didn’t really derail the song. Other than that, this really delivers on the pomp and circumstance, something that’s been severely lacking in music as of late.

2. “Somebody That I Used To Know” by Gotye feat. Kimbra

On last year’s list, I called Adele an original despite the fact that she released an album full of angry, bitter break up songs (with the exception of “Someone Like You”, where she takes a look at herself and realizes she’s not really over it, but you get the idea).  Now pop music has a whole subsection of break up songs (Beyonce practically built her career around them), and one thing that most of them have in common is that they’re mostly one-sided, overly arrogant declarations of independence. “Somebody That I Used To Know”, on the other hand, turns the entire concept on its head by showing both sides of the story. That way we’re given a glimpse of their inner workings and we’re shown that there’s a lot more to this relationship than the “my ex is an evil soul sucking monster” attitude that I get from most of these songs. It starts off with Gotye expressing how hurt he is while hurling a bunch of passive-aggressive comments at his ex, but then Kimbra comes in, cuts right through the bullshit and reminds him of why they broke up in the first place. On second thought maybe it’s a little one-sided since the boyfriend is obviously in the wrong here, but it’s still a step up from the oversimplified revenge fantasies we’re used to. But even when you take away the complexity of the lyrics, this is one of the most unique sounding songs to break through in over twenty years. Maybe Kate Bush or Peter Gabriel could’ve gotten away with releasing a song like this in 1986, but I’ve never heard anything like it come out in my lifetime. With its triumphant win at the number one spot on Billboard’s year end list, this could very well be the herald of a new beginning. So what could possibly top it?

1. “Little Talks” by Of Monsters and Men

I know I’m cheating with this one because it didn’t make the year-end list and never charted higher than the mid-40’s, but for me, this was probably the best musical discovery I made in 2012. I’ve heard people describe Of Monsters and Men the Icelandic version of Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeroes. And while I admit they have a lot of similarities (the dual male/female vocals, the folksy yet catchy instrumentation, their fondness for shouting “HEY!” in their choruses), but where ESATMZ wore themselves out on me pretty quickly, Of Monsters and Men won themselves into my heart immediately and have stubbornly refused to go away. One of the main factors I considered for putting songs on this list is how often I can hear it without getting sick of it. I must’ve heard “Little Talks” nearly a hundred times now and I’ve adored it every single time. I love that Nanna Hilmarsdottir and Ragnar Porhallson’s honeyed vocals compliment and harmonize with each other so well, I love the accordions and trumpet in the chorus, and I especially love its poetic and compelling lyrics that hint at darker things than its bright and shiny façade would lead you to believe. It’s also important to note that this song is the most important chapter in their debut album, My Head Is An Animal, which unbeknownst to most is actually a concept album that tells the harrowing tale of two lovers who are exiled from their town after one of them is possessed by the ghost of a young woman who was raised by wild animals, but that’s a subject for an entirely different article. Of all the big indie breakthroughs to happen this year, I’m sad that this was the one that didn’t catch on, which is a shame because this song, album and band are all truly wonderful.

Well those are my top songs of the year. And if you think some of those picks were embarrassing and stripped away what little dignity I had, you’re probably right. But stay tuned next week when I reveal the worst hit songs of the year.

The Otaku Corner: Madoka Magica

Welcome to The Otaku Corner, Man In Black Reviews’ go-to place for all things anime. Before we move on with today’s review, I want to run a little test. I want you to take a good look at this picture.

If your initial response to this picture is something along the lines of “ OMG KILL IT! KILL IT WITH FIRE!!!”, then you already know what this show is all about. The rest of you just keep on reading. This is Madoka Magica.

Madoka Kaname is your average middle school girl with a normal life who loves her family and friends and strives to do the best in everything she does. One day she meets Homura Akemi, an enigmatic exchange student who gives her a cryptic warning: “Never change who you are, or else you will lose everything you love.” Later, Madoka and her friend Sayaka run into Homura again, who is revealed to be a magical girl. They also meet mysterious, cute little creature named Kyubey, who offers them the chance to become magical girls themselves and fight witches (demonic beings who feed on negative human emotions) in exchange for granting them any wish. Indecisive about what to wish for, Madoka and Sayaka are given a chance to follow Mami, another magical girl, on some of her witch hunts to see just what it’s like. What they learn is that being a magical girl isn’t as heroic as it sounds on paper. They constantly put their lives at risk, they have to defeat witches or become one themselves, the wish you choose will have dire consequences, and they all serve a much more sinister purpose than anyone could ever imagine.

The magical girl genre of anime has been around for quite a while and, for better and worse, hasn’t evolved much at all in its history. It’s been satirized, parodied, and paid loving tribute to the point that the homages nearly outnumber the actual genuine productions. Shows like Sailor Moon and Cardcaptor Sakura pretty much stick to formula, that being the adventures of a teenage girl bestowed with magical powers fueled by her emotions and moral righteousness who uses said powers to fight off evil while simultaneously balancing their normal life and trying to keep her secret identity hidden. It’s a positive genre for little girls and as such is generally cute and fluffy and girly by nature. For the first few episodes, Madoka Magica doesn’t look like it will deviate from this beaten path, but very quickly (three episodes to be exact), things take a turn for the worse and the show reveals itself to be a dark, twisted psychodrama where everything can, and does, all go to hell.

Fans who try to describe it to outsiders often say that this show is a dark deconstruction of the magical girl genre in the same way that Watchmen was for superhero comics or that Neon Genesis: Evangelion was for the giant mech genre. While I definitely see where everyone is getting that idea from, I think there’s a lot more to it than that. Is it dark? Hell yes! Is it a deconstruction of the magical girl genre? Yes, but that wasn’t the intention of the creators. It’s kind of like how Lee Harper intended To Kill A Mockingbird to be a simple love story, but ended up writing one of the most important racial commentaries of the century. Gen Orobuchi in turn just wanted to write an interesting, thought provoking fantasy but ended up subverting the magical girl genre in the process. A lot like Watchmen (which did intend on subverting superhero comics, but for comparison’s sake just go with it), Madoka Magica doesn’t really take apart its genre as much as it reaches down into its deepest bowels to reveal its darkest elements, put them under a magnifying glass and take them to its most realistic and psychological extreme. But that’s not to say it’s just dark for the sake of being dark.

Madoka Magica is, at its very core, a tragedy. While most magical girl shows do have their emotional moments, it’s relatively stereotyped for being fluffy and cheesy, which is where those kinds of shows seem to be right at home. Sure, it has its lapses at the beginning, but it’s all a facade. I was actually surprised at how emotionally attached to these characters I became and was really saddened by their fate (let’s just say not everyone makes it out alive and the survivors aren’t exactly unscathed). Seeing the tragic stories of characters like Homura and Kyoko, witnessing the horrific fate of Mami and Sayaka, and the eventual reveal of Kyubey’s true motivations truly keeps you invested. Sometimes I could feel a tear or two trying to squeeze its way out and other times there were moments of shock and disbelief where I could feel my heart beating through my chest. This show will rip your heart out and stomp it into the dirt, but it earned every stomp and, strangely enough, you’ll feel a weird mixture of heartbreak and gladness when it’s done.

I also have to give the writers props for being able to handle such a tempestuous story in such a short time. This anime is only 12 episodes, which means you can plow through the whole thing in only a day, but it also means that there’s little to no filler and can focus on straight-up plot. Unfortunately, 12 episodes isn’t a lot of time to wrap up a plot and you’re going to have some loose ends. What really surprised me with this show was just how well the conclusion was handled. As the show went on there seemed to be a lot of unanswered questions, but towards the third act, not only do some some of the loose ends get tied up (some, not all, we are talking about 12 episodes here), but completely turns things around and raises the stakes higher than ever before. The character development was brilliantly done as well. Sayaka’s story as the show progressed was heartbreaking to witness. Homura, who came off as a cold-hearted bitch at the start, was revealed to be the most fleshed out character of them all. And Kyubey… Yeah, he may look cute, but trust me, when you’re done, the mere sight of his face will make you want to beat him with a shovel. For them to give this Faustian fairy tale this much depth with these kinds of characters in that amount of time is nothing short of a miracle.

Animation wise, this show is absolutely beautiful. While the art style for the real world is the typical soft lines, crayon like pastels and bright colors you’d come to expect with most girl oriented anime, it’s still nice to look at. Where the animators’ creativity really shines is during the fight scenes in the different witch’s labyrinths that the girls must enter to confront their enemy. Each one is completely unique and utilizes a different animation style. Some use jerky cloth cutouts and magazine clippings, some use nothing but bright lights and muted shadows, others use smeary watercolors, and so on and so forth. There was a lot of experimentation that you don’t see in a lot of anime and the makers of this show clearly had a lot of fun dreaming up some of these scenarios. Equally beautiful is the musical score, done by the wonderful Yuki Kaijiura. If the music sounds a tad familiar, it’s because she’s done other anime like .hack//Sign, Tsubasa Chronicles, and Pandora Hearts, and is one of the few anime composers who has a very distinct sound. It’s sort of a blend of pulsing techno, sweeping orchestrals and epic Celtic music that is specifically designed to tickle your tear ducts, and is well worth listening to on its own merits. The English dub is serviceable albeit kind of weak. Cristina Vee’s Homura and Cassandra Lee’s Kyubey being the stand-outs, but the rest are a little too squeaky for me, especially when this show would benefit from more naturalistic acting. I personally prefer the original Japanese, but the dub here is fine too.

So in the end, Madoka Magica is a harsh, complex, dramatic show from a genre not known for it harshness, complexity or drama. It’s one of those shows of rare caliber that presents true depth without being pretentious or condescending, and I definitely see it having a place among the modern classics. I haven’t even scratched the surface of everything that makes this show as beautiful as it truly is, but it’s nigh impossible to delve any deeper than I already have without spoiling the whole thing. Besides, this show needs to be seen to be fully understood. It’s an all around work of art. It just wouldn’t hurt to have some tissue nearby.

I give Madoka Magica 10/10.

The End of the Nostalgia Critic: My Thoughts and Reactions

On September 14th, 2012, Internet personality Doug Walker, better known by his alias the Nostalgia Critic, released the final episode of To Boldly Flee, a mini series made in celebration of the four year anniversary of his website, It was big, it was epic, it was funny, a great way to cap off four years of reviewing shitty movies from the 80’s and 90’s. But not everyone seemed to be thrilled about it. In fact, a lot of people got worried. Without giving anything away, the ending seemed to be a bit sensationalist, hinting that it just might be the end of the Nostalgia Critic. People panicked! There were riots in the streets! Shooting sprees spread across the nation! Fans poisoned their families and hung themselves rather than face a world without their weekly dose of Nostalgia Critic videos! Okay, it wasn’t that bad, but regardless, the rumor mill’s imagination went pretty wild. This wasn’t the first time Doug teased about killing off the character. He pulled this stunt before with his reviews of Garbage Pail Kids and My Pet Monster, and people fell for that too only to forget about it a few weeks later. But a lot of signs seemed to be pointing to the fact that this just might be the endgame for this series. The next morning, Doug himself revealed that this was in fact the case, but it’s also the sign of a new beginning.

Before I get into further detail about what’s going on and my opinion on the matter, allow me to explain exactly why I’m bringing this up. Without Doug Walker and his associates, I wouldn’t be doing what I’m doing now. He was one of the first to get me interested in being a critic. And I think it’s safe to say that my comrades on both this site and sites like Reviewtopia, The Agony Booth, and Space Monkey Mafia Studios have taken influence from not just him, but other members of Channel Awesome like Linkara, Spoony, Nostalgia Chick, The Cinema Snob, just to name a few. It also provided us with the best forum I’ve ever been to, which served as a virtual second home with a great community of intelligent and awesome people, and was where I found the casting call that lead to my position on Man In Black Reviews. So needless to say, I owe a lot to this site. Thankfully, the site will carry on with or without Doug and our favorite shows will remain in tact. But this isn’t about them, this is about the Nostalgia Critic, and more specifically what his retirement will ultimately mean.

In the video he released the day after the To Boldly Flee finale, Doug explained that the main reason he’s retiring the Nostalgia Critic character is that he felt that he did everything he could do with the premise. Sure, there’s a whole deluge of movies he hasn’t reviewed that fit right into his little niche, but there are only so many ways that you can say “this movie sucks”. To me, this is a perfectly sound and reasonable explanation for wanting to do this. As an avid watcher of his show for nearly three years who has seen almost every episode, I could see that some of the later videos were getting repetitive and were becoming clones of his older stuff. Sometimes it’s good to know your limits and quit when you see the writing on the wall and have nowhere to go from there. Flight of the Conchords canceled their show when they ran out of ideas. LCD Soundsystem broke up when they decided they reached their peak. There’s just no point in beating a dead horse when you’ve done everything there is to do. If you don’t realize that, you’ll end up like The Simpsons or Tim Burton or Weezer. It’s clear that Doug doesn’t want the Nostalgia Critic to be his entire legacy and wants to try new things. For that, I respect his decision. Besides, he’s been making episodes every week for over four years. I think he deserves a break.

Now I know what you’re thinking. “The Nostalgia Critic is the driving force of the website. Why would he kill off his main attraction?” I have two responses to that. One, the stats of the last few episodes have been going downhill. Doug realized this was due to the show becoming repetitive and decided to pull the plug before he ran it into the ground. Second, while it’s true that the Nostalgia Critic was the cornerstone of the site, there are still dozens of of content makers on that site who still put out material on a regular basis. I know people who go on the site that don’t care that much for the Critic, and only go there for people like Linkara, Angry Joe, Spoony or The Cinema Snob. Hell, the main reason I came to that site in the first place was because of JesuOtaku, and as time went on I had discovered Todd in the Shadows, Oancitizen, Paw, Nash, and had their videos to look forward to as well. It helps if you think of TGWTG as a TV station. Let’s use Showtime as an example. Some probably only watch Showtime for Dexter, which isn’t such a bad thing since Dexter is the channel’s most popular show. But as they’re watching it, they might also discover Californication, Weeds, or The Borgias, and become fans of those shows as well. The point I’m making is that even though TGWTG is Doug’s baby, he’s not the only person there with something to offer, and they can carry on without him. And even if the site did disband, half these people have sites of their own, so it’s not like any jobs will be lost.

Which is not to say that he’s gone forever. One rumor I heard a lot both before and after the announcement was that Doug was shutting the site down and leaving the Internet entirely. When I saw the trailer for To Boldly Flee on Facebook, there were a bunch of comments saying goodbye like he was dying or something. While that’s definitely not the case, I still think that’s an extreme and irrational conclusion to jump to. For one, the site, like I said before, is still raking in views and making a lot of money. Aside from that, Doug just signed an exclusivity contract with Blip. For someone to just up and retire at this point in their career is idiotic.

As for what he means to do in the future, very little detail has been revealed. He means to continue his other sketches like Ask That Guy With The Glasses, Bum Reviews and Video Game Confessions, and he hinted that maybe, just maybe, he’ll do a Nostalgia Critic every once in a while if he gets a good idea for an episode. (I actually like this idea since he’ll have more time to actually work on it instead of just farting one out in a week.) Aside from that, he has a big project that he’s been wanting to do for years. So far we only know two things. One, it’s called Demo Reel, and, aside from movie-centric themes, it will be significantly different from the Nostalgia Critic. Two, he actually bought a studio and will soon be holding casting calls. Will this be as good as the Nostalgia Critic? Will it garner as big of a fanbase? The answer is I don’t know. Nobody knows. They haven’t even started casting yet. Clearly this is something on a much bigger scale than anything he’s done before and he’s risking a lot on this, but it’s too early to make any conclusions. After all, no one can predict the future.

So despite one of the most popular and influential characters on the Internet ending his final chapter, nothing of real significance has changed. Doug will still be making videos, TGWTG will carry on, and the world will keep on turning just as it had before. He’s left a huge and infallible impact on Internet culture and provided us with nonstop entertainment for over four years, and we should be grateful that it lasted this long without burning out. Thank you, Doug Walker. I have nothing but respect for you and I wish you the best in your future endeavors. My only complaint is that now I’ll never get to see you review The Big Green. Sparkle sparkle sparkle, you crazy diamond. Sparkle sparkle sparkle.

6 Kick-Ass Covers You Should Totally Listen To

A while ago, some Canadian dude named Ben made an list of five covers by artists that no one’s ever heard of that blew the originals out of the water. At the end he challenged others to make a list of their own. Two words, Ben: challenge accepted. Now his guideline was to choose only obscure artists, but I’m gonna step out of line and choose whatever artists I want because A. I’m a lazy bastard, B. I’ve been wanting to do this list for a while, and C. these covers are awesome. But in the spirit of Ben’s list, I’m going for some not so obvious answers that you would generally see on this kind of list, so anyone expecting to see “Hurt” or “All Along The Watchtower” on this list may find themselves disappointed. I’ve also decided to dismiss cover bands, which pretty much eliminates bands like Powerglove, Me First and the Gimme Gimmes and the Northern Kings. Okay, let’s do this.

6. “You Can Have It All” by Yo La Tengo (originally by George McCrae)

I’ve known and loved this song for quite a while, but didn’t find out until just recently that it was a cover. If you never heard the original, I don’t blame you. George McCrae was one of the early innovators of disco in the 70’s, but isn’t really well known outside of certain music circles. He’s been sampled by several hip hop artists like Snoop Dogg, 50 Cent and Big Daddy Kane. It seems an odd choice by indie titans Yo La Tengo, but they managed to turn it into something completely new. Sure, half the reason I didn’t recognize it was because it’s an obscure song, but even if it was a big hit it wouldn’t distract from the fact that they did a terrific job, turning a simple disco track into a low-key lullaby.

5. Single Ladies” by Pomplamoose (originally by Beyonce)

Okay, this is probably the only cover on the list that really follows that guideline, but I have a very good reason for this. Pomplamoose have done quite a few covers from artists like Lady Gaga, Simon and Garfunkel, Earth, Wind and Fire, hell, they even did the Angry Birds theme. But those were all good songs to begin with. The reason I put “Single Ladies” on here is because they took a song that I don’t really like and managed to breathe new life into it. Even Nataly Dawn pokes fun at the lyrics in the third verse. Aside from it, the instrumentation and is a nice departure from the clattery production, Nataly Dawn’s voice compliments it well, and the video is entertaining all around.

4. The Book of Love” by Peter Gabriel (originally by The Magnetic Fields)

“The Book of Love” is considered the crown jewel of The Magnetic Fields’ opum magnus, 69 Love Songs. It’s a very romantic song but I have only one problem with it. While the lyrics are what gives the song its emotional intensity, Stephen Merritt’s boring guitar plucking and baritone voice remind me of Elvis during his Hawaiian phase. And if there’s one thing you need to know about me, it’s that I hate Elvis’s Hawaiian phase. So how do you give this song the boost it needs? Why, give it to the guy who wrote “In Your Eyes” of course. Peter Gabriel has the ability to inject so much heart wrenching emotion into a song in a way most musicians can’t. He saw the romantic potential of this song and decided to give it the jolt to the heart that it needed. Throw in some breathtaking strings and bring in Gabriel’s voice at its best in years, and you got yourself one hell of a tearjerker.

3. “No One’s Gonna Love You” by Cee Lo Green (originally by Band of Horses)

Cee Lo Green has been around a lot longer than most people realize. Whether you remember him from his days with the Goodie Mob, his stint as frontman of Gnarls Barkley, or his pop breakthrough “Fuck You”, chances are he’s popped up on your radar at some point. His latest album, The Ladykiller, is a pretty solid album with a bunch of great songs lik “Fuck You”, “Wildflower” and “Bright Lights, Bigger City”, the standout has to be his cover of Band of Horses’ “No One’s Gonna Love You”. I had the same problem with the original that I did with “Book of Love”, being that its lyrics were good but the music was too dreary and will probably put you to sleep. Like Peter Gabriel, Cee Lo saw the potential the song had and injected it with the right amount of soul. The song on its own is earnest enough and seems like it’s on verge of venturing into 80’s cheese territory, but reels itself back in

2. Hungry Like The Wolf” by Reel Big Fish (originally by Duran Duran)

Ska punk legends Reel Big Fish have done quite a few covers in their lifetime. Their cover of A-ha’s “Take On Me” is good, but is more of a straight up ska rendition. They also covered the ska staple “Monkey Man”, but that song is so synonymous with the genre that I might as well put a punk band on this list for covering “Anarchy in the U.K.”. “Hungry Like The Wolf” stands out the most. One, the intrumentation is different from what you expect of Reel Big Fish, taking a jazzier approach. It still manages to bring out the sense of adventure that the original has, but at the same time makes it something you can really dance to.

1. The Guns of Brixton” by Arcade Fire (originally by The Clash)

Like most music critics, I’m guilty of partaking in the Arcade Fire circle jerk. In fact, I still catch myself doing it once in a while. (Seriously, if you haven’t heard Funeral by now, you need to stop what your doing and go buy it RIGHT F*CKING NOW!) Regardless, while I must admit that there’s a tiny bit of bias going on since Arcade Fire is one of my favorite bands, their one off cover of The Clash’s “Guns of Brixton” still deserves to be looked at. Like a lot of The Clash’s songs, it’s a reggae influenced ode to the multitude of riots and civil unrest going on in England during the recession of the late 70’s. Arcade Fire took a different approach for their rendition, making it sound less like a reggae jam and more like a death march, further enhancing its somber subject matter. And if that wasn’t hardcore enough, this was performed in Brixton Hall, the location of a tremendous police riot that influenced the original.

Well, that’s my list. Hope you like it.