Pit Stop


As Bspace’s echoed cry faded over the hills Boobu had to reflect on how attached his apprentice had become. This impressed the need for his separation. Bspace’s progress was moving along nicely, but he was still LSSF. Boobu sighed as he stomped over the hill into the next town. All these thoughts of apprentices were bringing up bad memories.

Boobu walked for many days in the desert. He had left Muffin enough food and water to last her several days, just long enough for him to complete this little odyssey he was going on. Three days into his journey he wandered into the city of Mos Criminalica and found a seedy tavern and slunk inside. A rather attractive bartender came over and Boobu found himself drawn to her ample stock.

Bartender: What’ll it be?

Boobu: A Hamster Death Gulp, and keep them coming.

Bartender: That’s a tough one, think you can handle it?

Boobu: (smiled coyly) I would rather like to think I can.

Bartender: (giggling) we’ll see.

The drink came fast and with a wink. Boobu smiled, the bartender had potential. Perhaps… No, not again. Boobu had made that promise a loooooong time ago. Not after the last female apprentice he had trained. Well, actually it was the first apprentice he had trained.

Boobu: Gah, why do you have to bring this up?

Narrator: Because I say so.

Boobu: (heavy sigh) I have a bad feeling about this.

Boobu downs his drink as another magically appears at his elbow.

Narrator: So be it.

Sometime later the rather attractive bartender meandered back over.

Bartender: Sooooo… Do you want to talk about it?

Boobu: (slightly slurred) About what?

Bartender: No one downs FIVE hamster death gulps and doesn’t have something they want to get off their chest.

Boobu: And you care why?

The bartender points to the narrator in an obvious manner.

The Narrator crossed his non-corporeal arms and glared.

Boobu: Well, if you must know, it was a long time ago.

Bartender: (interrupting) In a galaxy far far away?

Boobu: … Are you going to let me say this or not?

Bartender: (snickering) Sorry.

Boobu: Anyway… It was a long time ago, back when I had just taken the title of Silly Sith Master from MY master.

Bartender: How’s that work again?

Boobu: You seem awfully interested in this for your average barkeep.

Bartender: Well, let’s just say I’ve been around for a while. So you were saying you took over for your master? Did he retire or something?

Boobu: Silly Sith do not retire. Their apprentice takes over after they kill their master.
(laughs) My master had taught me everything I could possibly learn, so he had out lived his purpose. It was time I became the master.

Bartender: And how’d you go about that?

Boobu: I filled his chamber with balloons until all the air was displaced. He suffocated in his sleep.

Bartender: Wow. That’s dark.

Boobu: AND silly.

The bartender seems to be thinking of something, and then shakes her head.

Bartender: Sooooo….

Boobu looks up, like something jogged his memory.

Boobu: Yes?

Bartender: Well…. Has anybody tried that with you?

Boobu: (crossly) Don’t you have other customers you can bother instead?

Bartender: Nah, none that won’t bite back any way. And YOU’RE avoiding the question.
Come on, drinks are on me if you spill.

Boobu looks to the bar and back to the bartender, considering if it’s really worth it. Then decides free booze would be for the best. Not quite exactly sure why he keeps talking to the bartender, he begins the tale.

Boobu: As I said before, it was time I became the master. I was young and celebrating my newfound free time. So I decided to make a trip through the entire galaxy to see what would soon belong to me.

Bartender: (interrupting) A little cocky there, weren’t you?

Boobu: (glares) How dare you….

Bartender: (smarting off) Well it really seems like you’ve done a real bang up job on that one. *snorts*

All Boobu could do was stare in amazement at the bartender’s boldness. The Dark Silly Side flowed through this woman as though she had been trained by Master Yogi himself.
But as quickly as the feeling came, it passed.

Besides, Boobu told himself, he would have remembered some one of the bartender’s looks had she been one of his apprentices. And it would have been waaaaaaayyyy to long ago for her to be Yogi’s student.

Boobu: Well, erm…. Did you want to hear this or no?

Bartender: (setting another drink in front of Boobu) Go on.

Boobu: I came to Correlia, a planet known for its vicarious attitude to life. And it’s Ale.
I was leaving a bar one night when I heard a commotion in the alley. Curious, I went over to see what was going on.

Bartender: How long ago was this?

Boobu: Somewhere around 4,000 years ago.

Bartender: ! Aren’t you supposed to be dead by now?

Boobu: (smiled into his drink) Ah, but I am a Silly Sith Master. Time doesn’t affect me.

Bartender: (chokes, cough, cough) I wouldn’t put it QUITE that way…..

Boobu: ….

Bartender: All right, you heard something in the ally?

Boobu: Yes. When I went over to see, one of the strangest sights I ever saw greeted me.

And instead of listening to Boobu prattle on, why don’t we just pull out a flash back, shall we?

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One thought on “Pit Stop

  1. Pingback: The Nun in Hooters – allaboutlemon

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