Star Wars: Holiday Special

The Star Wars Holiday Special is infamous among the nerd community – is it as bad as it’s said to be, or does it just plain get too much hate?

The Holiday Special tells the tale of Chewbacca’s family on Kashyyyk, the Wookiee homeworld, as they prepare for the celebration of “Life Day”. However, before they can experience the full happiness of the holiday, they have to overcome the Imperial presence on the planet, at the same time worrying about Chewbacca and Han Solos’ conspicuous absence.

Yeah, that’s about all I can come up with in terms of a story for this thing. It actually makes the plot sound much better than it really is. Life Day – whatever the heck that’s supposed to be – is the main theme in this movie. I guess that’s supposed to go with the “holiday” theme, even if we never actually find out what Life Day is about – I’m assuming the celebration of life, but knowing the randomness of this TV special, I could very well be wrong. It may be celebrating Wookiee foot fungus for all I know.

Of course, that doesn’t necessarily mean that the plot consistently focuses on Life Day. Not at all. I think the Holiday Special tries to be a lot of things – something to show how EEEEEVVVIIILLLL the Empire is, a story of friendship, a…. musical. GOOD GOD MAKE IT STOP!

I’ve seen and read things before that have a scattered plot – sure, it can be annoying, but at least usually SOME of the many plots covered are decent.
The problem with the Holiday Special, however, is that none of its plots are done well. Not one. Single. Plot. But I guess in that thinking, it sort of makes sense to have as many freakin’ stories as this movie does. After all, you don’t want to have to stick to even one of the many plotlines in the movie for almost two hours. Trust me on that one. As it is, the thing we have to go through consistently throughout the entire thing is the Wookiee grunting. *twitches*

Yeah, the Wookiees are by far the most annoying thing about this movie. Not only can you not understand them – you have to guess what they’re talking about from what they’re doing or their hand gestures; fun – but they’re just plain annoying. And creepy. I think I’ll forever be scarred by Itchy’s sex machine.

They even managed to make Chewbbaca really… well… Bleh. His and Malla’s love stare seriously disturbed me. Just…. ew. Ewww. Speaking of which, is giving weird stares and looks the only thing Malla can do?

George Lucas must have been on some seriously strong acid when he made this. It’s no wonder he wants every copy of the Holiday Special burned. I don’t even know why they put Star Wars in the name of this – it has barely anything to do with it! Like this (part I’m talking about starts at 1:54). I mean, what the hell is that?! That has nothing to do with the plot, nothing whatsoever, let alone Star Wars!

And the singing – don’t get me started on the singing. Geez. *shakes head* Okay. First, we have the… Mermaid (?) woman singing her weird song to get Itchy excited. *SHUDDER* Then we have that weird music video type thing with horrible music. Best thing about that is the overwhelming purple. This isn’t even touching on the singing on Tatooine or… Please don’t make me say it. *sighs* Fine. Leia’s singing at the end.

I’m just glad Mark Hamill didn’t break out in song. He was fairly… erm… interesting too, however. Okay, I’m gonna put this right out there: What was with Mark Hamill in this movie? It looks like he’s wearing more makeup than I do. Like ever. And his hair is all weird too! Plus he’s just acting like he’s on drugs or something. Hell, everyone in this movie does! I mean, I know he just went through a car crash before this movie was filmed, so it’s understandable how he’d look a bit “off”, but still…. He didn’t look this way in ESB.

There’s an Imperial presence in this movie – if you can call it that. The Empire is sooo overdone and silly in this. They try to be menacing, but they’re… they’re not. They’re really not. Take for an example the stormtrooper tripping over his own gun and falling to his death. Wow, that’s scary!

The Holiday Special also has more filler than I have ever seen in any book, movie, comic or anything else – EVER! There’s the beginning, which is just completely filled with Wookiee grunts, then the random things that interrupt the main story throughout the whole movie – like the instruction video Lumpy watches that details EVERY. SINGLE. STEP. Or maybe the scenes of ANH after the ending – it reminds me of what Uwe Boll did with the first Bloodrayne movie, showing scenes of everything before just to drag out the ending and add useless minutes onto the length.

I hate to be cliche with saying this, since virtually everyone else says this, but the cartoon segment was the only thing that was semi-decent about the whole thing. Even that, however, isn’t good. The animation is terrifying. The faces are elongated, and Han can never even open his eyes. He’s a sleep walker! And C-3P0… blinks oddly. It also contradicts canon since it implies Boba Fett is a droid – or at least, not human – but that’s the least of the problems of the cartoon – and it’s understandable, considering the mystery that surrounded Boba Fett for so long.

The actual Life Day ceremony is… underwhelming, I guess. Or, well, maybe that’s not quite the right word. If you’ve actually gotten so far as to watch the entire movie up until the ending ceremony, then you’re not going to be underwhelmed by anything. You’re going to be assuming that something really crazy happens, like the Wookiees walking in space, with magical orbs and monk robes. And don’t forget Leia singing. THE HORROR!

The Star Wars Holiday Special is, simply put, a mess. And that’s really going easy on it. It’s random, filled with things that make no sense, have nothing to do with Star Wars, has humour that is not funny in the least, and everyone’s high on some sort of drug. Despite that, however, a part of me actually loves the Holiday Special. Yes, that’s right. It’s just so… so cheesy! I love things that are so bad they’re terrible. I would actually totally recommend this if you want something that’ll make you laugh your butt off – it’s just that bad.

Originally posted at NJOE

4 thoughts on “Star Wars: Holiday Special

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